Poonam Bhuchar: Shifting from Pain to Regain Control of Your Life
ABOUT THIS EPISODE:
Episode 95: Welcome back to the Mindset Chick Podcast, I am so happy to have you here, I'm your host Kristi Dear. Today we have a very special guest, Poonam Bhuchar. Poonam is an extraordinary woman after surviving sexual assault, multiple suicide attempts and an abusive arranged marriage, she went on to build the life of her dreams after leaving the pain of her past behind. Today she is a successful lawyer with a wonderful family and support system, her life calling is now to aid others with the S.A.F.E. method, a step-by-step system for transcending the darkness of pain. Poonam also has a new book out called Safe From the Pain.
Ready? Let's go...
• I use the acronym S.A.F.E., and it's about being emotionally safe. A lot of us will hide our emotional trauma and not address it and will shove it down instead of processing those feelings and being able to move on. So the S.A.F.E. method is my method of moving on from that emotional trauma to lead a more fulfilled and purposeful life, so the S stands for stop and accept that you're in pain. A lot of us will just keep going on the hamster wheel, will keep ourselves so busy and will say that we don't have time to think about anything and we just keep walking through life being numb and not processing our pain. The first step is to stop and actually acknowledge that you're in pain. Many of us don't realize that we are. Sometimes there's enough medical evidence out there to prove that it can manifest in physical ways, so for me, I had a lot of health issues because I was denying that I was an emotional pain. So, the first step for S.A.F.E. is stop and accept that you're in pain, which is one of the most difficult things to do. (01:50)
• The second one I talk about is A, which is accept your responsibility for where you are, So... Sometimes in life, there are things that happen to us that we have no control over, and the minute that you start to say, I accept where I am, can be very empowering. And sometimes we've made incorrect decisions in our lives or decisions that weren't the best for us, and it's just accepting some responsibility for that and empowering yourself to move forward. A lot of us play what I call the self-righteous victim. I was a grade a self-righteous victim, I was pissed at the world, I blamed everybody for everything, and I blamed everyone for where I was. And what happens in that is, you keep repeating the story, you keep acting like the self-righteous victim and you don't empower yourself to do anything. The minute that you accept where you are today, and the minute that you accept, I have some responsibility for whatever it may have been that has happened to me, you empower yourself to actually move forward and you have to do something about it because you've accepted accountability for in whatever shape or form it may be. (03:08)
• The F I talk about is three types of forgiveness, so forgiveness of the person that you perceive has hurt you. And you can continue to play the movie back in your head and say, so and so did this, and so and so did that, and you stay stuck, and what has happened has happened but you are ruining the remaining years of your life by constantly playing that same movie real instead of working through forgiveness and letting go of it. Because at the end of the day, we only hurt ourselves, whoever we perceive as hurting us has moved on with their life. But we're still holding ourself captive to that particular situation because we're not moving through the pain and we're not forgiving. The second type of forgiveness I talk about is forgiveness of the Universe, because we all are great at saying, why me? Why was I dealt a sh*tty set of cards? The truth is, why would we wish anything bad that happens to us, to happen to our fellow human beings? it's extremely selfish. So the question that I phrase is, Why not me? What is it that I need to learn from this? And thank you Universe, for teaching me the lessons that I needed to learn. (04:33)
• The third type of forgiveness, which is one of the hardest things, is the forgiveness of ones self, the forgiveness of ones self, for the decisions that we've made that have affected other people, or the decisions that we've made that perhaps were not the best for us. And not to be so hard on ourselves and understand that life is a journey and we are going to make mistakes and we need to learn from those mistakes because without the mistakes, we don't grow. (5:54)
• The E is embracing your journey and embracing fully who you are. So we're all great at accepting how great we are and how fantastic we are, but what about our flaws, why don't we embrace those? Why don't we embrace the flaws that we have and be confident in our own skin and embrace our journey to be able to manifest the things that we want? And I know in your podcast, you talk a lot about manifestation, and I don't believe you can manifest a purposeful or failed life until you work through your emotional pain. (6:23)
ABOUT POONAM BHUCHAR:
There's no doubting that Poonam Bhuchar is an extraordinary woman - after surviving sexual assault, multiple suicide attempts, and an abusive arranged marriage, she went on to build the life of her dreams. After leaving the pain of her past behind, today she is a successful lawyer with a wonderful family and support system. Her life calling is now to aid others with the SAFE Method, a step by step system for transcending the darkness of pain. Poonam's new book, SAFE From the Pain.
CONNECT WITH POONAM: • Website: https://emotionallysafe.com • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Emotionally-Safe • Instagram: @emotionally_safe
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EPISODE AIRED ON: JULY 12, 2022